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'Is life really bad?'
"Is life really bad?"
"Yes I think life is bad. Why are you asking?"
"Because everyone tells me it is bad - for once I wish someone would tell me otherwise"
And then there were tears in her eyes.
Ever since I had this conversation, I can't stop thinking about her words. The question came so suddenly. We were just driving in the car and listening to good music. It was such a desperate search that I could practically smell despair in the question.
In the darkest night, she was just looking for something keep her alive – to keep her sane. She was grasping desperately for a reason to live. Once you believe with your body and soul that life is horrible, then I don't see a single reason to live it. By that I don't mean suicide, but there are many people alive but not living. They become like zombies.
She turned to me to find that reason for life. When she turned to me, I killed her with my words. Harsh words, but they are all I knew. They were all I felt. I was desperate too.
I think that a lot of how we see the world really falls down to how others perceive the world. And that is what I learned today.
Just by learning that, I realize I've destroyed the lives of many many people who believed in me and my views of the world. When I gave up, I caused many others to give up. The failure just multiplied. And maybe when I gave up, it was due to someone else giving up. And it can continue to no end.
I find it very scary to know that I may wield that kind of power. And if it is so, then how can I give up without selfishly causing someone else to give up too?
It's similar to the butterfly effect.
As I was walking down the road thinking about all this, I passed by a garbage collector. The old man looked at me with kind eyes. It felt like he could read into me somehow – yet we've never met before. I smiled at him as I passed by and suddenly I stopped.
"How are you doing today," I asked him.
"I'm thankful to God. Life is good and I'm just fine," came the unexpected reply with an unexpected smile.
But life was not good for the old man. I knew it. I could see it. He was struggling through life in the most severe of ways. But he wasn't lying either. That was how he perceived the world. That could very well be the result of someone who showed the old man that life was not bad. Someone who has given him hope. While he was barely surviving, he was alive.
He was lucky he didn't know me. Maybe I would have done to him what I did to her.
I remain confused on how to solve the dilemma. If I have lost hope, if I have given up, how can I make sure I don't pass this along to others?
No, it's not. Situations in life may be bad, but the human condition is such that it can withstand the most tremendous amount of pain. It's cliched, but time heals. And when it's all done, we often do see the rainbow after the rain.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds so corny! But my creative writing has been drained this past week in film festival. Need to recharge!
Mohammed, don't think of yourself as the bearer of pain. So there are those who are disappointed in your choice, but no, you have not caused them to lose hope. Each person is ultimately, alone responsible for what we think and feel.
I'm stuck-because I don't want to say too much.
All I can say is, "first with the head, then with the heart" Bryce Coutenay 'The Power of One'
Last Friday, I bumped into an acquintance from another country.
ReplyDeleteHe was very depressed, he actually said he doesn't want to live anymore because of how hard his life is.
I asked him to imagine being an ant. To visualise the daily hardships, animals stepping on and eating them, the nests getting flooded, the constant battles for survival.
If a little ant can carry on, how much more can a human being not carry on?
We were made for this life. If it seems too hard, it is merely our perspective that has to change - not our life.
It is all a choice. That old man is not delusional. He knows exactly how much of a struggle his life is, but he made a choice. He continued to make this choice when he spoke to you.
ReplyDeleteWe are what we think about. Our lives are what we make of them, and no matter what, no creature in existence has the power to change another’s thoughts. NONE!
Have you ever heard of Viktor Frankl? He was subject to unspeakable horrors but he came to a profound conclusion. He found empowerment and freedom when he learnt that no matter what happened to him, he had the power to choose how he reacted. So he stopped screaming under torture.
He also decided never to give up: "When we are no longer able to change a situation... we are challenged to change ourselves"
Our lives really are what we make them, and we make our lives with our own thoughts. The one thing no one can ever take from you, or control is your thoughts. They are yours and yours alone. The most anyone can do is speak to you, but your thoughts are yours. That is the essence of free will, and no one can take from you your free will. Nor can you impose your thoughts on another.
@springonion
ReplyDeleteare you so sure that no one in the world can change another's thoughts? cuz I think that defies everything in the world. How are ideologies created? Someone convinces many people that this is the right way of thinking and they adopt it so strongly that they convince others as well.
I believe that the basis of communication is changing each other's thoughts. Maybe not outright change, but if you don't change even a little thing in me then you never entered my life.
I'd think you would know that more than others :)
Finally the situation here was special in many ways. This person wanted to hear something. She was out looking for help from someone. That is when we are most vulnerable and when we would most likely be affected by others I believe.
Do you really think so? I'd hate to think we live in a world where people's thoughts float about so aimlessly like that.
ReplyDeleteThoughts are not contagious in that way. We do get convinced but we choose to become so.
You tell me your thought and I see merit in it or a nice new idea that I like so I adopt it. You haven't really changed my thought.
What goes on in our minds is the only thing in this world that we can control. Without that what do we really have?
Well, could the old man change your way of thinking?
ReplyDeleteYou said "life's bad", and you think you changed her world.
What about when he said "life's good"?
Ana mish bit3at el kalam da!